Perspective On A Disappearing Season By Chloe Gonzalez

Chloe Gonzalez won the 1600m MOCs title in upset fashion over the then defending champion Abby Loveys in 2019.

New Jersey State Champion, North Hunterdon senior, and Georgetown University commit Chloe Gonzalez submitted a journal entry for MileSplit to publish focusing on her process in dealing with the reality of cancelled events and a disappearing senior season as well as just what is being lost by the athletes during these uncertain times. 

Gonzalez is the defending Outdoor NJSIAA Meet of Champions winner in the 1600m, a title she won in exciting fashion with a big kick and PR time of 4:47.21 in 2019. Her performance from that meet ranks ninth on the New Jersey all-decade 2010s list outdoors. This past fall the distance star also won the Cross Country Meet of Champions clocked at 17:56 over the 5K Holmdel Park course, leading her team to their third straight title. 

We would like to open up the site as a potential outlet for more of our athletes and coaches. If you have a piece of writing or another creative piece you'd like to send in for consideration please reach out to The network has seen Dear Running letters, training logs, coaching clinics, and even poems in recent weeks

Journal Entry by Chloe Gonzalez

Having been in this situation for about four weeks now, I have had some time to go through a few stages of emotions and come to a not so simple and multifaceted conclusion about the current status of my senior year.

Like many other seniors, I had some very big goals for this season considering it was or maybe still is my last season of high school ever.

I wanted to run in Penn Relays, my last one as a high schooler, now I'm looking forward to being there in college, but realizing that's drastically different.

I wanted to maybe be invited to Brooks PR as that has always been a dream race of mine.

I wanted to PR, maybe even get the state record, it's on the horizon and I feel ready to do it or get close.

I wanted to run in my last Meet of Champions.

To have that feeling of success one more time before heading into the unknowns of college. A whole new world that of course will include amazing moments, but for anyone who runs in New Jersey we all know what the Meet of Champions means. It doesn't matter if you win or come in dead last, being there is a huge accomplishment that should never be taken for granted. Hoping that's there's a chance it will still happen, but knowing it won't be the same.

I want to feel that one more time.

Gonzalez crossing the line as a New Jersey Meet of Champions winner. 

But the goals that I have set for myself are not the only important part, it was and still is about the process before the final product. I have been so fortunate to be a part of a team of some of the best runners the state has to offer, some people are not as lucky to have a plethora of training partners. I appreciate all of the work we have put in together over the past four years and now that I have all of these solo runs to do, I appreciate my teammates even more.

Having a support system of people who know exactly what you're going through throughout every step of an insanely fast workout or even a long mileage run is so important and sometimes it's hard to put that into perspective when you've become so used to it. I feel sad as all the days that were meant to be my last with my teammates have been swept right out from under me. These regular after school practices might seem insignificant to some, but for all athletes these are defining moments where we enjoy each other and remember exactly why we do what we do, even on the bad days.

Now I understand even more just how important a team is, more then I ever have before.

With all the uncertainty going around right now and not knowing what to expect in the coming weeks or months I have realized this.

I can only control myself.

How I react, address and overcome this challenge is up to me.

I can still get my daily runs in.

I can still reach out to my teammates.

And I can choose to use this time to better myself not only as an athlete but also as a person.

Gonzalez celebrates her 2019 MOCs 1600m win with Coach Sean Walsh. 

Of course I have had some sadness over the loss of a few pivotal high school moments, but now I am choosing to focus on the things that can help me get through this and I hope everyone will attempt to do the same. We won't feel perfect every day, I know for sure I don't, but it is about trying to find joy in the little wins every day when the sun comes out and we are fortunate to be able to open the door and go outside and just run. Remember why we started doing it in the first place not just for the PRs but the happiness it brings daily. Solo of course.

I understand that there are way bigger problems in the world right now and that I should be grateful to be able to stay comfortable in my house during all this uncertainty, which I am and always will be grateful for, but for dedicated high school athletes we spend a lot of time working towards these races and games and to see them being canceled left and right is extremely difficult, not knowing when all of our hard work will pay off especially for the seniors who won't get another chance.

These moments are important and special and not insignificant in the grand scheme of things as some may believe right now. These events shape us into who we are, I can confidently say I am not the same person I was four years ago mainly due to my sport, my team, and all my experiences that have lead me to where I am today.

So for now we wait and we see what happens, as difficult as that may be. Keep lacing up your shoes and do whatever it is that you can do to make yourself better everyday because our time will come and we'll get our chance whether it's soon or months from now.

I hope everyone is well and staying safe.

We would like to open up the site as a potential outlet for more of our New Jersey athletes and coaches. If you have a piece of writing or another creative piece you'd like to send in for consideration please reach out to

The network has seen Dear Running letters, training logscoaching clinics, and even poems.